(I decided to do Pinstar’s Sim of the Month challenge, because it was something quick to do and I figured I’d blog it. Every month, I’ll do a one post story about that month’s Sim and how I completed her or his goals. I hope you enjoy it. I had a lot of fun playing this, actually. If you’re not familiar with the challenge, read it here, so you won’t be confused when you read this.)

Hey there! I'm a wanted murderer who just escaped from prison. Nice to meet you.

Hey there! I'm a wanted murderer who just escaped from prison. Nice to meet you.

SIM DETAILS

Name: Amanda Otharun
Age: Young Adult
Traits: Hydrophobe, Kleptomaniac, Hopeless Romantic, Hates the Outdoors, Mooch.
Goals: Build a ‘proper home’, Get Married to a Computer Whiz husband, throw a successful wedding party, Purchase a body-shaper and change her appearance drastically.
Restrictions: Cannot take any jobs, must not have a child out of wedlock. Cannot move in any sims other than via marriage into a ‘proper home’. Cannot write and publish books. Cannot sell anything. Must not be visited by the repo man. Cannot sleep outdoors. Cannot purchase the burglar alarm or call the police. Cannot marry a sim in the law enforcement career track.

Well, I may have nothing on my property, but check out that VIEW!

Well, I may have nothing on my property, but check out that VIEW!

Boy, do I ever have a crazy story for you!

Oh, sorry. I should probably introduce myself, first. I’m Amanda Wainwright, but I used to be Amanda Otherun. I’m technically a wanted criminal, but I swear, I didn’t do it! I was just a petty thief and my boss decided to hang me out to dry for all his brutal murders. I might steal, but I don’t kill people, let’s get that straight, okay?

Anyway, so of course I got slammed for the crimes. My boss is the Emperor of Evil after all. He could blackmail Jesus, I bet. I got thrown in jail for life; high security. It was hell. I pretty much resigned myself to a life of misery right then and there, but in my second year there, a miracle happened. The glass in my window shattered from a shard of… something. I still don’t know what. I think it was a giant ice shard, because it melted and flooded the entire jail. I got swept away in the current and wound up in Sunset Valley. I thought I was going to drown, I really did. I’ve hated swimming ever since that experience.

So I was finally free, but the police still had my info on record and I knew they were looking for me. For Christ’s sake, I was still in my orange prison uniform. I stuck out like a sore thumb. I was broke, too, but I needed somewhere to live, so I pretty much stamped my bare foot into the dirt on a big empty patch of land and yelled out “MINE, BITCHES!” Okay, so I didn’t yell. That would have given me away, but believe me, I thought it.

Problem: there was nothing here and I couldn’t get a job to make money. I was (still sort of am) a wanted criminal, after all. I decided to go around town pretending to just be a regular old crazy homeless chick and mooch food and money off of people, but they were all jerks. Pissed off, I hung out at some rinky dink park with a chess table and that’s when I saw him. My husband.

How can I lose against myself?!?

How can I lose against myself?!?

Of course, he wasn’t my husband, then. I didn’t even know the guy; I’m getting ahead of myself. His name is Boyd Wainwright and although his white hair and wrinkles would have been a turn off for most young girls like me, he was regal and refined and strikingly handsome in my opinion. I followed him to his house (I know, creepy, right?) and rang the bell.

Oh don't worry about creeping me out. I run into random crazy women dressed in orange jumpsuits with no shoes on all the time.

Oh don't worry about creeping me out. I run into random crazy women dressed in orange jumpsuits with no shoes on all the time.

His WIFE answered the door. Fuck. His wife. Great. Oh well, I figured I could at least cozy up to them until they threw some food or money my way. Plus, I needed a place to sleep. No way no how was I going to sleep without four walls around me and a roof above me with all the cops hot on my trail. I still hate being outside to this day because of that lingering paranoia from my “on the run” years.

So turns out Boyd’s wife… Susan was it? I’ll call her Susan, was a total snob. So not my cup of tea, but I chatted both her and Boyd up until they actually became my friends and let me sleep in their daughter’s old room. Well, having a place to sleep was nice, but it sure as hell wouldn’t give me a permanent solution. Only money could help with that and how is a wanted criminal supposed to get money? By “borrowing” of course.

Okay, okay... I'm a bad person. I'm looting my best friend's daughter's bedroom. I swear, I'll make it up to him!

Okay, okay... I'm a bad person. I'm looting my best friend's daughter's bedroom. I swear, I'll make it up to him!

I actually felt awful about stealing all that stuff from Boyd’s house. I really liked him. When he asked me where all his stuff had gone, I told him a robber came and that I tried to stop him, but he got away. We were such good friends already that he believed me. He still does. I even stole his daughter’s old teddy bear, but I couldn’t bring myself to sell it. It was just too wrong. I ended up keeping it and hoping to give it back to him someday.

See? I'm wearing pink and holding a teddy bear. I'm harmless.

See? I'm wearing pink and holding a teddy bear. I'm harmless.

The first thing I did when I lugged Susan’s dresser and mirror back to my empty lot was change my wardrobe and hair. I looked too much like Amanda Otherun, wanted murderer. I needed to look as unthreatening and innocent as can be. Susan’s wardrobe was gross, in my opinion, but just what I needed.

Hey, I may look like a kindergarten teacher, but I pass the "I'm a little sweet innocent girl" test, so shut the hell up!

Hey, I may look like a kindergarten teacher, but I pass the "I'm a little sweet innocent girl" test, so shut the hell up!

Not too bad, huh? I looked pretty respectable, didn’t I?

I kept going back to Boyd’s place. At first, it was just best friends hanging out and then it led to flirting and hand-holding and well… I fell in love with him. Susan knew what was going on and kept shooting me nasty glares when I came over, but she never kicked me out. Maybe she should have, because it wasn’t long after that that I asked Boyd to divorce Susan. I just couldn’t see him with another woman anymore. I wanted him all for myself and I am NO ONE’S mistress, understand? Boyd did divorce Susan, but she never moved out. It was kind of awkward sleeping with Boyd in the bed he used to share with Susan while she slept in her daughter’s old bed, but I was so in love with Boyd, I didn’t care very much. Susan was a brat, anyway. Always looking at herself in the mirror and gussying herself up like she was some celebrity… sheesh! She was super-smart, like Boyd, but that was about all she had to brag about.

I love you Boyd. Don't pay any attention to your wife glaring at us from across the room. It'll be over with her soon, anyway.

I love you Boyd. Don't pay any attention to your wife glaring at us from across the room. It'll be over with her soon, anyway.

So at night I slept with Boyd… and did other things, heh heh… and later, I’d sneak out to go steal. I’d found that nabbing cars was netting me a lot of profit, so I stuck with it. I had about 3, 000 from only a few nights of car-stealing. I used that money to get started on a proper house. Since falling in love with Boyd, I’d been determined to start a new life here with him and leave my messed up past behind me. I even told myself I’d quit stealing once I was up on my feet again.

Mmm, for an old man, you really haven't lost your spark in the bedroom.

Mmm, for an old man, you really haven't lost your spark in the bedroom.

*insert creepy burlar music here*

*insert creepy burlar music here*

Okay, so it was barely anything, but it was four walls and a roof I could sleep under, right? I’ll admit, most nights I still slept over at Boyd’s house, anyway. It’s just so comforting falling asleep next to someone you love.

Home sweet home... wanted style.

Home sweet home... wanted style.

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